I consistently attending for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's able of authoritative a accommodation she'll affliction in the future. (Richard Jeni)
I formed some gigs in the Deep South...Alabama...You allocution about Darwin's cat-and-mouse room. There are guys in Alabama who are their own father. (Dennis Miller)
I went to a action the added night and a hockey bold bankrupt out. (Rodney Dangerfield)
L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that alone serves Jack Nicholson -- and if he shows up, they acquaint him there'll be a ten-minute wait. (Bill Maher) Funny Quotes. Sayings. Quotations.
I acclaimed Thanksgiving in an ancient way. I arrive anybody in my adjacency to my house, we had an astronomic feast, and again I dead them and took their land. (Jon Stewart)
There's consistently one of my uncles who watches a battle bout with me and says "Sure. Ten actor dollars. You know, for that affectionate of money, I'd action him." As if anyone is traveling to pay $200 a admission to see a 57-year-old carpeting salesman get hit in the face already and cry. (Larry Miller)
If I anytime accept twins, I'd use one for parts. (Steven Wright)
My wife and I took out activity allowance behavior on anniversary added -- so now it's just a cat-and-mouse game. (Bill Dwyer)
Famous Quotes
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly airing afterwards that. Can you imagine? Two dinners! (Sarah Silverman)
I apperceive a guy who alleged up the Home Shopping Network. They said "Can I advice you?" and he said "No, I'm just looking." (George Miller)
I knew these Siamese twins. They confused to England, so the added one could drive. (Steven Wright)
A ancestor is answer belief to his son, who is about to go into business. "Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars account of material. You blanket it up, and you accord it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the aperture you apprehend she's accustomed you two $100 bills. Now, here's area the belief appear in: should you or should you not acquaint your partner?
